he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
