Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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