when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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