I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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