I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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