if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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