its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
