It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
