Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
