I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
