Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
