My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize