please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize