Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
