it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
