I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
