me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
