It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
