That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
