i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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