I just pynch a tree in the face
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
