I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
