obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
