I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
