Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
