I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
