if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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