I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
