I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
