I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
