This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
