ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize