Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
