Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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