Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
