i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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