Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
