He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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