Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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