if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
