I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
