She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
