She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
