It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
