I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
