nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
