dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
