Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he thought i was a dude.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize