Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
