Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
