Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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