I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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