Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
