Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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