Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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