she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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